Walking through the oldest burying grounds on eastern Long Island, I've noticed one particular phenomenon that is no longer a common occurrence in the present day: the rapid deaths of multiple children in a single family.
In the town of Southold, New York, the year 1772 was a catastrophic one for the Reeve family. Joshua and Mary Reeve already had experience losing a child before October of 1772. Their daughter Mary passed away at the age of four in 1764. She was buried in the Southold Burying Ground, in the corner of the small parcel that still holds colonial burials today. By November of 1772, four more headstones of Mary's siblings would be placed on the site, or at least ordered from the Stevens shop in Newport Rhode Island. Today, all five headstones stand together in a row. The headstones themselves don't indicate what happened in October of 1772, and neither do any specific records that I could find on the Reeve family. What we can know with certainty is that on October 3rd, 1772, four-year-old Ketury Reeve passed away. Four days later on October 7th, nine-year-old Abigail passed away. The next day on October 8th, seven-year-old Mary (likely named after her sister who passed away in 1764), also passed away. Their two-year-old brother Benjamin survived another fifteen days, ultimately dying on October 23rd.
Closer to the church, two simple brownstone markers belong to the More sisters. Abigail More died on September 10th, 1758 at the age of 17, and her sister Martha died a few weeks later on September 21st, at 13 years old.
Less than ten miles away from Southold, the Osborn family of Mattituck lost five children in the month of August, 1756. One-year-old Martha was the first to pass away on August 12th, followed closely by her five-year-old sister Bethiah on August 13th. Six days later, seven-year-old Elizabeth died, followed by her five-month-old sister Mehetebel the next day on the 20th. Their six-year-old sister Mary died the day after on the 21st.
Closer to the church building in the Mattituck burying ground, there is a headstone three times the usual width, with three death's heads, one for each of the three children of the Hudson family, all of whom died in December of 1754. Bethiah died first on December 7th at the age of four. Two days later on December 9th, Hannah died at two years old. ten-month-old John survived 20 more days, until his death on December 29th. (Video below.)
A few rows away, the Havens sisters are interred next to each other. Patience died at the age of 19 on August 23, 1793. Her seven-year-old sister Mehitabel died on Sept 3rd, less than two weeks later.
All of these examples that can still be found in colonial burying grounds today are reminders of the reality of life in the 18th century: many children died. Most commonly, especially in the case of multiple deaths in a single family over the course of a few days, disease was the cause. In 1772, there was a measles epidemic throughout North America, which may have been the cause of the deaths of the Reeve children in October of that year.
Today, this amount of death in a family in such a short time is unheard of, unimaginable. So how was death in Puritan America viewed? It was ever-present, especially in children. One in ten children died within their first year of life, and 40 percent of children didn't make it to adulthood. These numbers were even worse for black children, who were usually enslaved.
I have always tended to think that we fear death far more today than those who came before us. After all, it was more present in the colonial era, more a part of everyday life than it is today. But the truth seems to be more complicated, especially during the 17th century. The Puritans balanced the numbing presence of death in everyday life with their drastic fear of God's eternal punishment in the afterlife.
Today, our children hardly think of death, especially not their own deaths. The eventuality of life ending is a far-off thing that happens to grandparents, or people we don't even know. By contrast, Puritan children were taught that many of them wouldn't make it out of childhood. They were consistently reminded that children died often, and they could be "...at play one hour, dead the next."
The reminders of this death did not come attached to the reassurances of heaven as it does today. In fact, early Puritan views of death focused far less on salvation, and far more on the fallen nature of man and the effects of original sin, especially in childhood. Even adults suffered from a desperate fear of death during this era, and their headstones reflected this.
Abigail Moore died at the age of ten, in 1682. Her headstone is plain, no border, no soul effigy or death's head. Just her name, her age, and the day she died. Growing up, Abigail may have been one of the kids taught in school that she could die at any time. She may have been taught that she was inherently sinful, and not in any way guaranteed salvation in heaven. Her headstone reflects this idea of death and the way the early Puritans viewed it.
As the 17th century transitioned into the 18th century, the Puritan attitude toward death began to shift from the harsh view of God's wrath to an emphasis on a reunion with God in heaven. Death was no longer a sure way to damnation, but instead a small separation before joining loved ones and God in heaven.
Perhaps this shift made the tragedies experienced in families during the 18th century a tiny bit easier to bear.
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